I have a confession. I worry. I try to play it off....act calm, stay cool and collected and process the information and daily challenges in a logical manner. I tell myself that "I know God is in control," and that "I am His child and He loves me." I read scriptures like the Matthew 6: 27-33 (The Message)and understand them in my head:
"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.
27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.
30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving.
So, I know I am not supposed to worry. I get it, yet the very fact that I have to tell myself the same things over and over again surely must prove to my Father that I allow worry to preoccupy my thoughts. Honestly, most of my worry is about "getting". Getting ahead, getting more business, getting prepared for the future...I am in getting mode which is a nice way of saying I worry.
This morning I went for my 5 mile run through the Quay. I love to run early in the morning. I have my ipod in, worship tunes blaring and I talk to God about....well, about my worries. There are plenty of them right now with the uncertain economy and business challenges. As I was explaining to my Heavenly Father that I needed to shift my time from one area to another because it seemed like the financially wise thing to do, He prompted me to stay the course. I resisted and said, "it's not like money is just falling from the sky now God," at which time I looked down as I was striding along and found a crisp, brand new $5 bill on the ground. COME ON...is God really that funny? I was reminded about how HE provided manna from Heaven for His children as they wondered in the desert. While I tried to laugh it off as I plucked up the bill and put it in my pocket, the more I have thought about it the more it has messed with me. He wants to give and I do concentrate on what I want to get.
That chapter of Matthew wraps up with, "People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. "
Hello, my name is Trey and I am a recovering worrier.